footprints

Friday, January 27, 2006

Woke up damn early this morning not to study..but to see my family off...just wanted to see them walk out the house..didn't wanna wake up to an already empty house..
Papa, mummy and sis left for KL this morning for CNY...this is the first yr tt i'm celebrating CNY in Singapore..screw TP for the dumb schedule, wad mid-sem test b4 CNY and IJ submissions just right after tt..can't they just drag another week??..BAH!!..

They left without saying bye..they just walked out the door..so sad..feels wierd..the house is not a home when it's so quiet..

Went back Ping Yi in the morning to visit..no one left for me to see really...only Mdm Noorzura..Mdm Pang's no longer there..i felt bored...it's not the same anymore..the system, the school...somehow i prefer the old school..without the revamps and renovations...

After that went back to TP...Global Marketing paper...i dun think i'll fail..but it won't exactly be fantastic marks..so goodbye to the thought of working hard and using this sem's results to pull up GPA..that thought vanished when i was late for entrepreneurship..didn't have the motivation to study for tests...why??..dunno..

Went home to take a nap after that..woke up and left for TP again...told Qianhui i'll go down support their game against NUS so i must be good for my word..although they lost i felt that they were already winners going into the finals..they fought hard in the 3rd set..but it's ok..it's the process and not the end result..although end results are usually the icing on the cake..

gave mummy a long distance call just now..talked for less than 5 minutes...

Tests are over...time to mug for projects....

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

shit ALWAYS happens twice man..

woke up at freaking 9am today..and wad time does entrepreneurship paper starts??..yes u got tt rite..9am..intended to study the 4Ps in the morning at 6...2 alarm clocks rang...walked to shut it off and back into bed..the next thing i noe i jumped out of bed and looked at the damn clock..and asked myself was i dreaming??...nope...so off i went to school..brushed my teeth real quick, changed my clothes, grabbed my wallet, phone and pen and dashed out the door..

the same thing happened to me in Semester 2.1 for the Consumer Behaviour Paper...sigh..

i wonder if i might fail today's paper man..

sau mun ah sau mun..pls study hard for ur IMC and Global Marketing paper k??..u wouldn't REALLY want to repeat 4.2 jus to get back at SP do you??..gotta get tt thought outta ur mind, plenty of ways to do it..failing is not an option..

oh man..wad it happening to me??..

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

I'M SOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!!

TP Volleyball Girls won SP 3-1!!!..so happy for them man...i mean even though i didn't win it i was still very happy to see SP lose...yeah!!!..
the fighting spirit TP had was truly inspiring..i was like screaming my heads off out there...now having sore throat le..

too bad the team wasn't there to witness the triumph with me..but it's aiight..

ARGH..gotta go study for Entrepreneuship test tmr..and get my mum to boil barley water for me..

YEAH..TP RAWKS!!!

Monday, January 23, 2006

i've been having sleepless nights..trying so hard to not think about wad has happened and study for test instead..but it's soo hard...everytime i try and close my eyes to go to sleep or rest..the whole freaking game just sorts of replays itself like some kinda auto video in my mind and it's killing me!!!!..

someone told me that it's over and not to think about it anymore..BUT it will NEVER be over...till the next IVP the whole damn thing will happen again, it is the ending that might be different..for 2 yrs now history repeated itself..

not many people can understand this kind of feeling unless u are in or have been in a similar situation before..so i would appreciate if u dun ask me about it..cos i'm tired of talking about it when u won't understand the plight i'm in..

i had a stupid thought..i might just fail the mid-sem tests and come back and repeat 4.2 and get my revenge and SP..but the thought was very fast banished..how dumb can i be..i shouldn't even be thinking about it..i should be thinking of how to motivate the team to get our placing, pride and glory back in the next IVP..JIA YOU!!!..i might come back and train with u all k??..BB's rite..how can i give up something that has been so influential and memorable in my life??..

anyways..VERY VERY happy for the volleyball girls..for they made it into the semis due to some ruling thing..not many ppl get 2nd chances in life..they got to play with the team again..which is something that will never ever happen to me again...so u gers gotta cherish ur time together again k?!...haha...

i'll be there to support the match against SP..TP JIA YOU!!!..

Saturday, January 21, 2006

wad a shitty day it was yesterday...all that bullshit about personal pride and glory..GONE..ALL GONE!!!...i just can't get it..it's so unfair for us to lose to SP...they dun have the team dynamics..they dun have the spirit of the team..they looking FUCKING BORED yesterday..no hype at all..we have EVERYTHING..oh..maybe just the luck factor...
I can't really remember the last time i cried so hard i really dun, i just feel that something was lost yesterday..not jus the medal..it was something..
most of SP's points were a gift from us, either it went out or it went into the net...i worked so hard..i was soo tired..
we were leading in the doubles match..how the hell did we lose it??..did i do something wrong??did i make the wrong choice when coach asked me about partnership??..i had a nervous breakdown in the 4th set..so much so that i yelled timeout and forgot that timeout was already called once by coach..i was struggling to keep it together..it was so nerve wrecking..i was encouraging partner so much that i lost confidence in myself..i didn't know how to encourage myself..
they were not exactly a fantastic doubles..we had a very good chance against them..WAD THE HELL WENT WRONG!!..i guess i only have myself to blame..there's only so much i can do..i'm not god..and i'm not blaming anybody..
in order for the last 2 singles to play we HAD to win the doubles match cos the 1st 2 singles was already lost..

Sorry Partner, maybe if i had taken the chance to play on their weakness they wouldn't have kept playing on yours...i'm sorry i yelled at you to return to the middle after u wandered to far off...i'm sorry u feel that u let us down, the fact is that i let everyone down..maybe if i had kept it together and not have a breakdown u wouldn't be so stressed out..

should i pick up the bat again??..i really don't know..i feel that i've lost a part of me..on the long journey back i was thinking thru the match..tears flew out uncontrollably..i wanted some time alone..i noe u guys are worried about me and consoling me..if only i could turn back time??..wad could i have done??..

i msged the team and told not not to think about the match..everyone's fine now i guess.but i'm still sore about wad happened..i was thinkning about it the whole night..my eyes are freaking painful and puffy in the morning that i looked horrible..

i really dunno wad to think anymore..should i go to joelly's SP band concert..i really dun want to have anything to do with anything SP..it just pisses me off..i dunno i dunno..can i use the word personal hatred to describe it??..or is years of friendship more important??..

Friday, January 20, 2006

Let's talk it out..:

Thursday:
went swimming in the morning with LS and Steph..got a little burnt but it's alrite..it's been like forever since i last swam..after which went back to school for a short consultation with my groupmates and tutor..
walked around with Gui Zi Mei Mei and her frens..pretended to be freshie and played Netball..haha..it was all fun..

Met the team at engine and off we were to Ngee Ann for our NUS game..it was looking good in the beginning set..Meirong won 11-1 for the first..she won the 2nd set too..we peered over to SP VS NTU side and saw that they too were leading NTU..we said to ourselves..OH MAN!!..we seriously dun mind playing in the finals for 1st and 2nd with SP....well hold tt tot..cos they came on back strong..Meirong fought hard int he 3rd set..could've won but u noe..things doesn't really go ur way sometimes...the fighting spirit tt we saw in her was tremendous..10-5 and she could catch up to deuce although still lost the set..in the end we lost 3-2 first game. First time i saw her cry in my 3 yrs in Table Tennis..really felt sad for her..she was really disappointed in herself..

well, me n partner lost doubles match too..really disappointing, when coach said that we were the best doubles pairing in the team, sometimes dun understand him oso, if he say we are the best, then why didn't we train together the day b4??..well, it's over..
He asked me, "how many forehand attack did u get in"?..he said none..well, i said 2 of which one was a very nice ball...i mean come on, gimme a break man, i'm trying hard as hell..
it was only in the bus that chris told me tt Coach said during the match.."train the forehand so hard then none of it come out"..i was like..devastated..oh well..we gotta look forward..

Friday:
woke up damn early in the morning to chiong all the individual stuffs, ok i noe it's very the last minute as most of u will noe, but hell i was like super duper tired yesterday can..oh maybe if i haven't watched tv..but heck tt..i handed in on time..so there..!..haha

i am gearing myself up for today's match..hoep the chemistry between me and Miss Mong will hit off and be a bad luck to SP....we are so gonna get back wad's meant to be ours..they took it from us last yr..and i'm so not gonna let it happen today..
we will not be affected by yesterday's disappointment and even if there is, the energy will be churned towards later's match.
Meirong u are my Idol k??..so must jia you and take revenge on one of the SP's singles today!!..

TP JIA YOU!!!..SA!!!!

Sunday, January 15, 2006

okay..time for updates..
had the NTU game on wed..we lost 5-0 but we did put up a fight..we are no longer wad we used to be..the stronger teams used to just play against us like a breeze, but htis yr we gonna make them work hard for it..we are not fighting for 3rd..we are title contenders..we are so gonna play damn bloody hard...i wan a medal b4 graduating..

hats off to the guys tems..they lost to NTU 3-2 which is a rare thing..they are all so gonna be afraid of us next IVP cos most of the guys are all Yr 1s...they are so good!!..maybe more experience needed...haha...

friday the guys were against NYP and their foreign imports..and we were supposed to be up against SMU..we wore our adidas blacks..and said that we are gonna be bad luck for SMU since it friday the 13th..haha..we were all warming up and getting hyped up about the game, and the next thing u noe it..SMU withdrew..so it was a walkover for us..so we jus stayed and cheered on the guys team....it's really funny how they put it..they said we girls were there for show only..haha..

tmr the guys are playing against SP, coach told us to stay in school to train and not go down to NP to support..well guys!!..dun be disappointed..we will still be giving u our mental support even though we are not there physically...Wed no game for us cos RP isn't turning up..so we are automatically advancing into the semis..!!..wed gonna be training in school too..thurs is our game against NUS..argh!!..jus thinking about last yr makes me all boiled up inside..this yr will definately be different...

Pictures below:

Coach giving tips and advise to Alex after a set..

Meirong and Me..she's my idol man..haha..

Miss Mony and me...

girls team minus wenjia...taken with peiying and chris..

All yr 3s..graduating soon...sob sob..

the TEAM...i think meirong is sleeping..oh man..why can't we have a perfect picture.??

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Phew..these few days i've been soooo busy that i've hardly had time to breathe..the recent WILL@TP event gave me double dosage of eyebags..didn't attend lessons on thursday and friday...my apopologies to my groupmate..Thursday i went to settle some team jersey and bags stuff with Jean Mok and Kee Yong..on friday i really wanted to go for Dr Tan's Lecture and tutorial...i went back home after table tennis's scheduled run at 8.20am..wanted tot ake a shower and head back to school...but i slumped onto my couch wanting to take shut-eye..but the next thing i know..i've slept till 2+pm..

was really tired from the duty shift we had from 12.45am to 6.45am...was supposed to just be outer-lane marshalls but we ended up being water station for the runners...

KUDOs to the volleyball team for running 30 odd rounds...sadly for us we only ran 3-5 rounds..haha..wad a HUGE difference..but nevertheless..thanks for ur encouragement over the PA system..haha...

Below are some pics taken at our tent station...
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this picture is way overdue..haha..taken on New Yr's Day..it's like tradition now that we go out for a meal for the 8 of us..my family and my cousin's...this yr's was at ParkRoyal Hotel..